All About Me!!!

So here is a random list of things about yours truly.......i'm sure it is much more info than anyone cares to know about me but I hope one day my kids will find it interesting...........so feel free to read it or not!!!!

1. I Hate chocolate.  I've heard other people say they don't like chocolate and then you see them eat a handful of M & M's, you won't catch me eating it at all, I HATE it!

2. However, I do like white chocolate.

3. My favorite color is Purple!

4. I've always wanted a big family & I feel greatful that i've been able to have one!

5. I've never lived anywhere but Kansas

6. Before having kids I wanted to name my first born daughter Shauni Rae, i'm glad I didn't.

7. I've had my heart broken beyond broken but in the end it all worked out.

8. I don't necessarily believe in soulmates but if there is such a thing then I know that I am with mine!

9. I flipped my car onto it's side when I was 16, it left a nasty gash on my wrist and a steering wheel mark on my forehead. I was momentarily unconscience and it was the only time I rode in an ambulance.

10. The EMT offered me a teddy bear but I was 16 and that wouldn't have been cool so I declined.

11. After talking to my brother my friend Kristin ran all the way from her house to where I wrecked because she thought I was dead. I wasn't just mild injuries. The little girls whose house I wrecked in front of , told her mom there was a dead girl in their yard. Her mom came and helped me out of the car.

12. I met Chet in a bar called Overtime when I was 20, I had a fake ID. I spent more time in bars before I was 21 than after.

13. I thought he had a son name Justin, he didn't, he had a son named Cheston.

14. Pepsi is a weakness of mine, I can't seem to give it up!!!

15. White chocolate covered pretzels are another weakness, they don't last long in my house (and i'm the only one who eats them).

16. I almost changed Owen's name before he was born because of Chet and I's situation....i'm greatful that I didn't.

17. I do not like to upset people or hurt anyones feelings EVER, even if it is someone I don't like.

18. I had a doll named Amy when I was little, she went everywhere with me.

19. I still have Amy, her eyes are loose, fingers missing and part of a foot is missing.

20. My childhood dog, Jubilee chewed her up.

21. I got Jubilee when I was in 2nd grade and she died when I was 18, that would be the first time I ever had a broken heart.

22. Brooke and Jake were the rottweilers I had when I met Chet, I had to find them a more appropriate home, my heart broke then too.

23. There was something about those dogs and me that I cannot explain, I loved them but they went to a good home with lots of room to run.

24. The car I flipped onto it's side was known as "Thumper" by my friends and I. Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin was played a lot in that car.

25. I had an obsession with Jim Morrison and the doors as a teenager, I truly believed if he were alive we would have had a connection (don't worry I know better now,lol).

26. My friend Jennie died in 2005 of a drug overdose, even though I hadn't seen her in quite some time, I still think of her often!

27.  My favorite weather is jeans and t shirt weather!

28. I take a ridiculous amount of pictures but always better to have too many than not enough and I have the cutest little models ever!

29. I'm still friends with the girls I met and became friends with in 2nd grade.

30. There names are Mandy, Kristin, Amy and Monica

31. We were all together just last month!

32. I have had a emergency c-section, an epidural birth and two natural births.

33. While the pain was indescribable, I would go natural again in a heartbeat.

34. I think the kidney stones/infection I had during my last pregnancy was the worst pain i've ever been in just because there was no break from the pain, it was constant!

35. I have few regrets in my life, really just one.....

36. I wish I had been a better stepmom when the big kids were younger and lived with us.

37. I wasn't a mean step mom or anything just young and unwise.

38. I wish I knew then what I know now.

39. I don't think the kids hold any hard feelings towards me, at least I hope not!

40. I tend to be a person who has a lot of guilt.

41. Usually for things I have no reason to feel guilty about, just how I am.

42. I feel like I was one of those people in high school that noone remembers.....

43. that's why I have been surprised by facebook and all of the people that actually do remember me.

44. I'm often described as "one of the nicest people i've ever known", i'm happy with a description like that......I wouldn't want to be any other way.

45. I've always been quiet and fairly shy which I know has sometimes been confused with people thinking i'm a snob.

46. I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me would say i'm not a snob.

47. I have 2 tattoos and would like to have one of them changed and get at least one more.

48. I flipped over the handle bars on my bike going down a hill as a kid, landed face first on the street and woke up at my brothers friends house, it left my face pretty much one big scab.

49. I cook dinner most every night, i'm not the best cook but i'm not too bad.

50. We eat at the dinner table together as a family, I think that is something important to do.

51. My wedding was an outdoor country wedding on October 6 2001.

52. Everyone was worried about the weather but I was confident in the farmers almanac and as predicted it was an absolutely beautiful day just a bit windy.

53. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill are 2 of my favorite singers and their anniversay is also October 6, they have about 5 years on us. I didn't know this until recently.

54. They also have a daughter born on May 5 which is the day Katelin was born.

55. I nursed all of my kids until they were at least 1 year old and i'm almost embarrassed to say that I nursed Katelin until just shy of her 2nd birthday.

56. My favorite show ever is Friends.

57. I went to college and got all the credits I needed to apply for nursing school.

58. I still plan on going to nursing school.

59. I want to be a labor and delivery nurse.

60. I love christmas and making fun christmas memories for my kids.

61. I have even got Chet getting into the christmas spirit.

62. I have went to take a drink of my beer 2 times in my life and instead of getting beer.....I got a swig of my husbands tobacco spit............DISGUSTING!!!

63. I like most types of music but......

64. my heart belongs to country music.

65. I loved getting to see Rylie meet Taylor Swift, it was a great experience for both of us.

66. I am not a good artist, my husband has that talent.

67. I always did well in school without putting in a lot of effort.

68. I can't stand to sleep with socks on.

69. I worked at Pizza Shoppe (now it's Old Shawnee Pizza) on and off for 10 years.

70. It was my first job, I started when I was 15.

71. I don't like the thought of being buried, I think I would prefer cremation.....of course, I will be dead so what will I really care.

72. I love my drama free life, I don't need or want the drama.

73. Chet and I don't fight, occasionally we bicker but that's about it.

74. I am fascinated by medical things from birth to death and lots in between.

75. My father is alive and well (as far as I know) but he chose not to have his kids in his life 6 years ago and I have not seen him since.

76. It makes me a little sad that my kids will never know a whole side of my family and sometimes they ask me "who is your dad?"

77. I hate, hate, hate to be tickled......I truly believe it is a form of torture. Maybe it's because my brother used to hold me down and tickle torture me but I HATE it!!!

78. I am so mad at myself for losing my beautiful wedding ring while Chet and I were separated.

79. Chet and I were separated for 17 months......it was the best thing to ever happen to our relationship.

80. We were days away from finalizing our divorce when we decided to work on things, it was also April Fools Day.

81. Besides giving birth 4 times, I have only been hospitalized twice......once as a baby with pneumonia and once last year during my pregnancy with Evan, I had kidney stones which turned into a kidney infection (refer to # 34).

82. I've always wanted to swim with dolphins and hope someday soon I will fulfull that dream.

83. I can't hear a sad story and move on.....it sticks with me and I think about it a lot.

84. As a teenager I went to a funeral for an 18 month old baby who died of a rare cancer, to this day it is one of the saddest thing i've witnessed.

85. Her name was Jordan and I sometimes think about her when my kids are driving me crazy and whatever they are doing doesn't seem so bad!

86. I have naturally curly hair and I hate it.

87. I've never been able to look in a mirror and think I am beautiful.

88. I hope my girls do not inherit that trait.

89. My husband always tells me i'm beautiful and I love him for that.

90. It would be nice to have more money and awesome to have more time but despite that I love my life and am greatful for all I do have and wouldn't trade it for anyone else's life.

91. I am blessed to have a mom who has always been there for me and given things up to make my life better, I hope one day that I can repay her.

92. I never thought I would have blond hair or blue eyed kids, 2 of my 4 are blond hair and blue eyed.

93. I long to be skinny like before I had kids and I am finally on my way......I have lost 10lbs in the past month.

94. My kids are more than worth every pinch of fat that I have.

95. There is a lot of laughter in my home and I love that.

96. I believe deeply in God, I also believe in heaven........but I have a hard time believing in organized religion. I believe He is okay with my beliefs eventhough people tell me my beliefs are wrong.

97. While I love all my children equally......I also love them all differently because they are all different and unique in wonderful ways.

98. My whole life I wanted to be a mom......it is so much harder than I ever thought it would be but..........

99. it is so much better than anything I could have ever imagined, I love it.....it is an unbelievable, undescribable love that I cherish!

100. I am a worrier, like now I am worried that these 100 facts about me will bore people but if your still reading than it must have got your interest (at least a little) so thanks for reading it.

101. I love getting comments on my blog so feel free to comment in the comments section at the end of the posts (and to those of you who get this by email, I enjoy the comments you send me via email too so thank you!)

Mmmm Mmmm Good!

Simply because.............she is so darn cute, even when she's eating tomato soup!!!!

If there were an award........

for the best big sister EVER, do you know who would win???? I do.


She plays with the younger kids, she fixes Katelins hair (don't worry the straight iron wasn't plugged in), she takes her potty and helps me all the time with the younger kids. I even got a compliment from another mom at school on what a good big sis she is. At the school parties she always lets Katelin sit at her desk with her and share her treats.

 Evan thinks she is hilarious and she just loves him to pieces. Her and Owen are such good friends. They fight more than they used to but most the time still get along great and play together a lot (unfortunately I didn't have any recent pics of just the two of them).

Playing peek a boo and attacking big sissy.

She almost always shares her treats or whatever she may have with the other kids, if they get hurt then she will take care of them. She is just an all around wonderful big sis and the younger kids all look up to her and love her. And me.....well I am super proud of her!!!!

She is also a good student and gets a lot of missle messages from school for being respectful and responsible, this month she even got her picture on the tree of character at school...........
Love you Ry........forever and ever.............

Will it ever end????

The craziness that is. I know silly question......I have 4 kids and a husband so the craziness will never end!!!
And I would never want it too, maybe it could just slow down a bit. Another busy weekend, a baby shower, a birthday party amongst the rest of the need to get done stuff!!!!! And I got front ended today!!!!

So your wondering what I am talking about..........well coming to a stop at a red light with vehicles stopped in front of me and the truck ahead of me starts reversing! WTH, I lay on my horn and he keeps going and backs right into me. He gets out and says "well, it looks like you got lucky and our bumpers matched up". Well I wouldn't quite consider it good luck, especially since his hitch receiver left a nice square indention in my front bumper. No apology from him or anything but I got his name and number and wrote down his vehicle info, not sure if I should contact insurance or not.....just irritated me how he said what he said. So that is how I got front ended. Anyway, let me share some pictures of my favorite little people.

So this is what my kids do on a decently warm day when all the snow is melting..............

Yes....that is Rylie and Owen shoveling melting snow. Rylie is in short sleeves but she is wearing a stocking cap and my sweet Owen is also in short sleeves but he's got gloves on, mismatched ones!

Don't worry, I wonder about them too sometimes but sure do love the little stinkers!!!

























We surprised the kids on Valentines Day and took them to Build a Bear..............

They had a good time, Rylie picked a pink and orange bear she named peaches, Owen picked a camo bear he named sargent, Katelin got Hello Kitty and I picked Evan a cute little puppy.

Today was a beautiful day outside and the kids helped Daddy get all the outside christmas stuff put away. Rylie drove the mower with the trailer on it to haul everything to the shop.

And we got out the gator, I think Katelin will really master that this year.............

And a picture of my sweet boy whom I love beary much (I know it's cheesy but I love the cute little bear on his butt.)

Here's, as Owen would say, Evan when he's a dude.............

In Memory of Papa

2 years ago today........my grandpa lost his battle with cancer. It was a Thursday and Chet and I got the call that we needed to get up to the hospice house to be with him. We got Katelin in the truck so we could pick Owen up early from preschool, well before we left the driveway we got the call that he was gone. My first thought was Oh no, we didn't make it. My next thought..........he knows! He knows what happens when you die, he knows what's out there or up there or whatever it may be. He is probably with his mom and his dad, his brother and his sister, and his grandson that was only here for 6 short weeks. His only son, Drew, was with him when he died. I'm pretty sure he purposely waited until my Mom and my Grandma left for a short time to go, he wouldn't of wanted them to be there for that.

Papa wasn't the go out and play catch type of grandpa but he was a good man and a good Papa and I love him. The kids irritated him to no end but he loved them. My grandma most likely irritated him to no end too but he wouldn't dare admit that. He hid junk food in the basement because Nanny wouldn't let him have it. He thought I was a horrible driver and didn't want me driving their vehicles. I believe he had a pretty soft spot for my mom, his only daughter. He thought a lot of my husband. He loved his "sweetie" and would do anything for her and he knew he better do whatever she told him too.

He fought in WW II and was a PFC in the army. He saw things no man should see, still had shrapnel in, I believe, his leg, still had demons haunt him in his dreams from his time in the war. He didn't talk about this time in his life often but has a purple heart and a bronze star for his heroics.

He was one of the few positive male role models in my life growing up and 2 years later it still seems weird not to see him sleeping in his chair at the kitchen table at their house with the TV on in the kitchen with the closed captioning going. We love you Papa, put in a good word for us!!!!!

Crazy Crazy Week

It's been one those weeks..........I feel like all I have done is run run run and I haven't had any down time. My mom hurt her knee and hasn't been very mobile so she's needed some help, we had valentines day partys at school, conferences, dr's appointment and just a million other things been going on and i'm just wore out, mostly mentally!!!!

Then we had yesterday...........a beautiful day, kids were out of school (because of conferences) and playing outside most the day! The little girl across the street came over with her 3 big dogs whom have always scared my kids a little bit. Well one of them growled at the kids, Cayenne is our blue heeler and she is very protective of her kids! She tried to let the other dogs know not to mess with her kids and they all attacked her. It was bad enough that Chet ran out there and was going to get his gun, luckily his yelling was enough to break it up and send them home. Cayenne has some bite marks and seems to be a bit sore. She's a good dog, I know she would protect these kids no matter what!!!!

Then the day got even worse..........I was talking to my mom on the phone and Tanner and Laney (our puppies) were outside running around. We live in the country with very little traffic so we have been letting them run free until we could get a fence put up this spring. I was talking to my mom on the phone and heard a truck so I look outside to make sure the pups were not in the road. As the UPS truck is flying way too fast down our road, I saw Tanner running towards the truck and in a split second he ran right in front of it and was gone. I'm greatful all the kids were inside at the time and that I saw it not them. I knew right away he was gone. The driver stopped on his way off our road and apologized which it wasn't his fault because Tanner ran in front of him but they need to slow down on our road what if a kid had been crossing the road and he wasn't able to stop.

The kids are doing fine....Rylie probably took it the hardest, she sobbed and called everyone she knew, Owen didn't have much to say and Katelin said "well, I guess we will need to get a new Tanner now!"  All reactions to fit their personalities perfectly.

He was a good boy, very loveable and friendly. He just wanted to be loved. I keep thinking what if I had done this or that or what if I hadn't done this or that but I can't change it now. That's the thing about death, it is final........there is no changing or fixing it. I know he's in heaven running free now so RIP Tanner, we will miss you!

Tanner 4-20-10 ---- 2-17-11

Laney won't be running free anymore, can't take the chance. I did learn something about myself through this situation. As I watched this play out, I remained really calm, assessed the situation and did what I thought needed to be done. I did not panic, I did not cry. Then I had to question myself on what was wrong with me why wasn't I crying after witnessing something so horrible! Well it wasn't until I went to bed that night that it hit me and I shed my tears for Tanner. My conclusion is.....maybe it's because I am a mom or maybe it's just because that's the way I am but I think I just am the person who needs to stay strong for others....my kids, my mom, the people I know won't handle these situations really well. I used to cry at the drop of a hat when I was younger but I don't anymore. Even when my Grandpa died it wasn't until I was in bed one night that I cried. I guess I do what I need to do to help people get through things and on my own time I do what I need to do.

Sorry to go on and on, I guess this is sort of an outlet for me as well as a memory book. I try to focus on the good and the happy when it comes to my blog but this blog is about our lives and life is not always good.....bad things happen in life and it sucks but I am trying to keep it real on here also. So while you will mostly see the happy highlights of our life on here, you will also see the occasional "that really sucks" moment and yesterday just happened to have a few of them.

I always want to leave you with a smile so I will leave you with a picture of the people who put a smile on my face everyday......no matter how much the day sucked!

Evans birth story!

It all started December 4, 2009 when I took a pregnancy test (actually, I think I took about 4) and found out we were adding to our family! I tried to be creative when I told Chet and had to tell him to go check the shower since he decided not to take one until later and this is what he saw.....

unfortunately the kids lost the 8 so that was my makeshift 8.......It caught him a little off guard b/c he didn't say much at first and Chet's not often at a loss for words but he came around pretty quick.

It didn't take long for the morning sickness to kick in, this was probably the sickest I had ever been, constant nausea and horrible fatigue. It may have seemed worse b/c I had 3 other kids to take care of.

I got through the morning sickness and was feeling pretty good until I woke up at like 2am on April 28 with some pain in my back and side, the pain kept getting worse so about 3:30 I called my midwife, Jeane, and she said to try a hot bath it was probably a muscle spasm. The bath helped a little until I got out and the pain became excruciating so I called her again a few hours later and she sent me to the hospital. I peed in a cup and it looked like tea so obviously something was going on but then it started to feel better so I was sent home with the assumption that I had a kidney stone and had passed it.

All good until I wake up the next morning at the same time in excrutiating pain so I literally cried and moved from couch to couch until about 5:30am when I called Jeane again.....after several back and forth phone calls trying to decide the best thing to do I had Chet call Jeane and tell her I couldn't handle the pain anymore and wanted to go to the hospital so thats what we did. The pain is a lot like labor pains but only on the left side and with no break it is constant. They ended up admitting me, putting me on a morphine pump which was my only pain relief, it was great. After some test, x rays, ct scan there is no definite diagnosis just the assumption that the kidney stone turned into a kidney infection and I spent 4 days in the hospital with a morphine pump and went home with some strong antibiotics and felt much better.

Other than being hugely pregnant during a horrible heatwave (I heard it was the hottest summer on record around the world) the rest of the pregnancy went well, I was hot and huge and miserable but it went well. And it cooled down the day I went to the hospital so I couldn't be out enjoying it but that's okay.....I brought home something that brings me endless joy!!!!

That's one big belly!

Since I hadn't gone into labor and I was vbac(vaginal birth after cesarean section) we went ahead and scheduled an induction for Sat. Aug. 14, I was so ready for the big day and that morning they called to tell me they were postponing for a couple of hours, well several hours went by and no phone call. I finally talked to Jeane and since they had so many women having babies they were postponing me another day.......I balled for like 2 hours. I was mentally prepared for his birth and so ready to meet my little guy so it really really upset me but I knew it was noones fault, it just sucked.

So anyway we arrive at the hospital at 8am the next morning, Chet, myself, my mom and Natalie. Jeanie is there shortly after we get situated. She breaks my water and Chet and I walk the halls for about 45 minutes to see if labor will start, it doesn't really get it moving along that much so about 11 am they start pitocin. I got rid of the hospital gown and into my comfy tank top and into the bed. The beauty of a midwife is they are with you the entire time and I am triply blessed that I have the best midwife EVER and i've known her for 8 years and she's delivered 3 of my 4 babies.

I am going natural like I did with Katelin and it doesn't take long for the contractions to come on quick and strong. Jeane has me sit on the birthing ball which brings some relief but not much. At this point I am mentally having a hard time getting through the contractions. I was in a lot of pain but I was progressing quickly so I knew it wouldn't take long. I moved back to the bed because of the pressure I was feeling and Jeane checked me and I was at a 9. I am a quiet laborer and Jeane said had I not said something she would not have known I was so far along because of how quiet I was.

We had the video camera set up (yes, I recorded this birth), and it was time to push. The "rule" is you push half the time as with your last birth. Owen I pushed for about 10 minutes, Katelin about 5 minutes so I should have this baby out in 2.5 minutes....woo hoo, bring it on.

I start to push.....Owwwwwwwwwww (natural childbirth hurts, there are no ifs, ands or buts about it.....it really really hurts like you wouldn't believe but I wouldn't do it any other way). I kept thinking only 2 and a half minutes but it seemed to be taking longer. I'm pushing with everything I have and Jeane tells me to stop, I felt like there was just something stuck where nothing should be stuck, again....Owwwwwwwwwwww! Jeane did inform me he had hair which was very exciting since my last two were bald.

I think this may be when everyone realized he was coming face up instead of face down, which is why he  didn't come out in the 2.5 minutes he should have. Face up basically meant his head won't compress quite like it should so it's a bit bigger than what it would be if he had been face down. Not that it took that much longer but when your in that kind of pain every second counts, trust me! I was in between contractions and Jeane asked me if I wanted to keep pushing or wait until my next contraction. Remember me saying I felt like something was stuck where nothing should be stuck, well I said let's push, I want him out. Well besides pushing I think I was breathing so heavy I was on the verge of hyperventilating. So Jeane, whom I always do just as she tells me because she is the expert and as far as i'm concerned during delivery she is my boss, tells me to slow down my breathing and to wait for a contraction.

This also may have been when Chet, trying to be helpful and supportive, started rubbing my face. I thought I said it kindly but according to everyone else I kind of snapped at him to Please stop touching me. Anyway, on Sunday August 15 2010 at 2:04 pm I gave birth to Evan Wade 8lbs 13.6 oz and 19 3/4" long. He was a big boy with brown hair and a chubby round face and I loved him the moment I saw him. (For the record....Daddy guessed he would arrive @ 2:20 so he was pretty darn close!)

In my experience, usually as soon as the baby is all bundled up they stop crying.....not Evan! He cried for quite some time after he was born, I don't blame him, i'd be traumatized if I came out face up. He probably was thinking Owwwwwwwww also. And it took about an hour for my pain to really subside, this was definitely more pain than my natural birth experience with Katelin. But after we all settled down we bonded right away, my sweet baby boy and me.

While all my births were equally as special and despite this being the most painful.......this was my best birth experience (i've had a few of them you know!)! Besides a slightly annoying nurse who popped in occasionally, I was with people I was comfortable with, it was such a relaxed atmospere. Eveyone talking and besides my pain, having a good time, I was comfy in my own clothes not a stuffy hospital gown. Jeane kept me focused and relaxed, just a great experience!!!


We were so lucky and greatful that Matthew stayed at the house with the 3 older kids so they were all up within an hour or so of Evan being born to meet their littlest brother. Katelin wasn't sure what to think and wouldn't hold him the first day but the other kids loved him right away!

6 months later.....Evan is pure joy! The happiest little baby ever! Evan Wade is 100% Heaven Made!
And it wasn't until after he was named that I realized that rhymed! Evan is a name Grammy came up with that we all liked and Wade is after Chet's maternal grandpa that he never got to meet.